Courtesy Google Images
I’ve come to a fork in the road. As a wife, a parent, a friend, and a blogger. I have to decide whether staying true to myself is more important than potentially offending people or if I need to tone down my opinions and apparently “abrasive” personality to appease a few people who think that being around me is like bathing with a Brillo pad. My last blog post about my personal experiences on bed rest caused a stir with a handful of people. I received more positive support than negative support but the few people that it did upset felt it necessary to write me out of their lives because of my insensitivity to a certain woman, or perhaps all women, on bed rest.
NEWSFLASH:
I’ve been on bed rest before. I have my own set of limitations now. The blog was written by me about my own personal experiences, my old and new doctors, and old and new professional recommendations on bed rest. It was intended to educate a very large subset of women who are burdened by bed rest every day. It was intended to touch many women, not just one (narcissist) and her BFFs. I’m still confused how my plea for women to educate themselves and to be their own advocates where their health is concerned caused such a backlash. And after speaking to several people, both close to me and mere internet acquaintances, I’m still baffled that my post was considered “insensitive” and “abrasive”. It was very personal and written after several days of research. It was an educated post. And it was cathartic for me. It was a segway into a series that I am currently working on involving Postpartum Depression. Because more women need to know. And less women need to experience it. If I can save one woman from the clutches of bed rest-caused depression, I will feel like I have done my job.
When I found out that my bed rest with my last pregnancy was possibly in vain, I was TICKED. But not at the messenger! I was ticked at my old doctor. After living for the last 16 months with the aftermath of being bedridden for nearly 3 months during my last pregnancy, I want to tell as many women as I possibly can about the need to outweigh the risks vs benefits of this serious prescription.
I’m thankful for the outpouring of support that I HAVE received from women who have been on bed rest and women who believe that advocating for your own health needs to become a social norm. You may not have a medical degree, but nobody knows their own body better than you do. Listen to it.
I hope that this post continues to educate women and that less people choose to shoot the messenger and decide to question their doctor’s advice.
So there’s the fork.
Do I continue to passionately talk about the things that I know? My experiences? If I’m not causing a stir, am I being effective? Do I really even care that the “Gossiping Geese” have decided to write me off? Yeah, it stings but if my friends can’t accept the fact that I have freedom of speech and opinion, and that *GASP* they don’t have to agree with EVERYTHING I say, I don’t really want them in my life anyways.
I guess I have to come to terms with the fact that I may upset people while I’m on this journey. I might run across people who can’t have relationships with people who feel differently about things than they do. I need to be OK being ME and stop caring about what other people think. Oh geez, I sound like I’m talking to my shrink!
So there it is again, The Fork. Being that I am working on myself this year and that I am learning to love & live for me, I believe I’ll go THIS way: The path where abrasion is accepted. Because I’m never going to make everyone happy. And I’m going to learn to be OK with that and live with the repercussions no matter how much they sting.
Thank you for joining me, for listening, and for all of your opinions, whether they gel with mine or not.
Come to Our Nest 
IMHO, your blog, your voice.
Thanks, Jodi
Mama, I’m so glad you found my blog, and I’m glad I found yours.
YES, you should continue to passionately blog. You have an amazing voice, and it needs to be heard. There will always be naysayers, and some are worth learning from and some aren’t. And you might go back and decide that you weren’t saying exactly what you wanted to say. But that’s what learning and growing is about, and reading your journey helps others on their own.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really appreciate it.
I write the way I speak; I am passionate and energetic and excited about…EVERYTHING! I don’t like to have people cut me out but I have a lot of growth to experience this year. I feel as though getting it out will be my fertilizer and I look forward to finally blooming. Thank you again for visiting.
Summer,
I admire your honesty and your courage in where you’re going with this blog and this series. Unfortunately, not everyone can handle the truth … even if it’s your truth, not theirs.
You and I have talked a lot about women being there for each other, understanding each other, even when you come from (emotionally) different places. Maybe it’s a sign that I’ve grown up or that I am more secure with myself than I thought, but I own how I feel. I feel it. I talk about it. I share it. And I don’t feel guilty for it. It’s unfortunate that women aren’t more supportive of each other, especially during pregnancy.
What happens to you might not happen to anyone else. What I felt might not be the way you felt. What you went through might be exactly what someone else is going through. And it’s all okay. It’s all beautiful. And we should all feel safe talking about it.
When it comes to the post in question, I think those women just don’t want to face whatever demons are at work. I don’t mean demons as in … actual demons … you know what I mean, right? Anyway, I think you probably hit a nerve somewhere and they lost it. And in the process of losing IT, they lost your friendship. Their loss, not yours.
Take it from a girl who moves every year – making friends isn’t always easy (the keeper kind, anyway), but it’ll happen. Organically. These aren’t the friends you want anyway. I need friends who love me unconditionally, even when I say or do something that hits a nerve, because they know my heart and know that I’m never, ever coming from a bad place. I need friends who are understanding … and mature … and honest. And I’ll tell you this much, it’s better to be lonely than miserably unhappy or dishonest with yourself.
Keep writing. Keep telling it how it is. This is your space and you can do what you want with it. (most) People that follow your blog, appreciate that. Your readers won’t always agree with you (I get a little of that from time to time) and that’s okay. But they’ll keep coming back because they understand that this is YOUR story, not theirs.
Writing can be therapeutic. Don’t let anyone take that from you. Keep crunchin’ …
[...] Depression diagnosis. That in and of itself was intense but it has brought on some problems, or forks in the road so to speak. After writing my weekly mURPHY’S lAW mONDAY today, I wondered where on earth I [...]
I love when people are who they are. Especially when it sheds light on untruths (especially in my own life). Uve actually played a part in that!
I so respect that u knew who and how to get mad about when u heard about bedrest. I’ve felt this way about events leading to my cesearean. Life is too short to worry about stepping on toes when good information can be shared. It might take me/the receiver time to process. hearing other sides and having an opportunity for informed decision making is always worth the wait.
[...] know about the “Gossiping Geese” and how a few “friends” decided that I was unbearable to be around because I’m *GASP* [...]
[...] hard to make friends and the ones that I did make weren’t people that I ended up gelling with for this reason or that. I was suffering from Postpartum Depression and Kyle was working long hours in a job that he felt [...]