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I smile therefore I am...crazy.

Being a stay at home mom is a thankless job.  You change diapers, feed picky-pallated little mouths, wipe greasy hand prints off of everything from your clothing to the inside of the toilet, break your back running behind Lilliputians organizing their messes, fashion a tasteful and nutritious dinner while dancing around crumbs and toys, scrub pots and pans with dry hands and peeling cuticles, wipe snot out of thin hair while trying to keep the same snotty-nosed child out of the trash can, and somehow manage to maintain a home that won’t be condemned due to its toxicity.  You get the point, right?

Nobody says thank you for these things.  Your thanks come in the form of wet-lipped kisses.  Or your daughter learning to say “Mommy” instead of “Mama” (heart melt much?).  Or the pride your heart feels when your son makes the All-A Honor Roll.

You juggle schedules and doctor’s visits and grocery shopping in the 105* heat with 267% humidity.  Your hair frizzes.  You shower once (maybe twice) a week.  And your sacrifices don’t get noticed except when someone kindly tells you, you have mascara smeared under your eyes or that your muffin top runneth over.

Go on. YOU kiss those sticky lips.

I realized tonight while changing the 4th poopy diaper of the day that when I re-enter the workforce someday, I will have taken with me a very valuable lesson from motherhood:

Don’t expect kudos

Very rarely do bosses tell you that you’re doing a great job.  Generally they want to tell you what you could do to improve.  That report that you worked on for hours upon hours and somehow got done (perfectly) before its deadline?  No thanks there!  But talk on the cell phone during work?  You’ll hear about that!  Kinda like how when you concoct an exact reproduction of your husband’s favorite Macaroni Grill recipe and he says nothing but “There sure are a lot of dirty dishes tonight”.  Yeah.  Then burn something the next night and hear ALL about that.

So I’m confident when I say that I’m going to eventually be a dream employee.  Not only can I make a 4 course meal while tip-toeing on a wooden block and wearing a baby on my head, I can file your mindless papers away while doing battements on a desk chair and juggling Swinglines.  OH, and I don’t expect you to notice.

Photo Courtesy Stephen Root & 20th Century Fox

 

Have you seen my stapler?


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  21 Responses to “Real-World Takeaway From Motherhood”

  1. Awwww. Love this post because it made me cry AND laugh. Love you!!! I was JUST talking today to my mom about the day Ryan will learn how to say “mommy” because he has kind of switched from “mama” to “mom.” And sooo true, that no one notices, no one says thank you or great job – but, today, just for you mama – GREAT JOB!!!! YOU ROCK!! and? your stapler has probably been flushed down the toilet ;)

    • Thank you! I seriously love you back. And I am seriously LMAO because I’m certain that my stapler has, in fact, been flushed down the toilet.

  2. This almost made me start crying. I don’t get kudos for being a sahm. Not from adults anyway. My son tells me at least 3x a day that he loves me and that makes this life worth it. My daughter is 2 and already calls me “mom” because her big bro (4) does. I still call my own mother “mommy”! :( Whenever i think about my old job, I laugh at how easy it was. I can’t believe I complained about it when I had it.

    • I can’t believe I ever complained either. I also can’t believe I ever expected anyone to notice all the good stuff I did. I’ve learned my lesson :)

  3. Aww, this brought tears! What a great post!

  4. I would never hire an ex stay at home mom, especially not one with three kids. If hired, how long will it take for one of the kids to get sick? If and when it happens, mom has to take one or a couple of days off. I would want an employee who shows up on time, every time.
    And three kids … seriously. How old are they? 3 – 2 and 1 … that’s a kid every year. Ever heard of birth control?

    • Wow. Biased much? My kids are 10, 21 months and 3 months. My husband and I wanted our last two kids to be very close in age. And for your information, I will be a stay at home mom until my children are in elementary school, where illnesses are fewer and farther between. My 10 year old has missed MAYBE 5 days of school in 6 years of elementary school. And yes, I’ve heard of birth control. The deal is, I WANTED 3 kids. But thank you for your (unsolicited) advice.

      It’s a shame you would never hire a stay at home mom. You’d be missing out on some very hardworking and dependable women.

      • Summer, he’s a troll. The best thing to do is ignore him. He didn’t leave this comment because he wants his mind changed — he left it to incite a reaction. I thought of just messaging you this privately so as not to give him any attention, but then other people might keep commenting back to him, all angry-like.

        He’s just a bored asshole. That said, his attitude is common. I suggest not even telling future interviewers that we have kids. It’s illegal to discriminate and we have no legal obligation to share such info.

      • Wait a sec. . why would someone like that even be reading your blog? Can you look at your stats and see where they came from?

    • Wow, Summer, you were way too nice to this discriminating ass, he doesn’t deserve any of your explanations. Don’t give him another second of your thoughts, he’s not worth it. Too bad his mom didn’t use birth control.

    • UMMM birth control?!?!? WTF?!?! People aren’t allowed to have more than 2 kids? This isn’t China freako.

      Don’t worry girl, he will just have chauvinist asshats working for him the rest of his life. His loss.

    • Wow! I find it very hard to believe that you are in any sort of position of management to even say these things, so I seriously doubt you are. If by the unfortunate chance that you are, you are a step away from a lawsuit for discrimination. It is illegal and unethical to base hiring someone on their family. Looks like we won’t be seeing you in that “boss chair” any time soon and for good reason. Cheers!

    • It’s comments like this that continues to keep our country behind others when it comes to women’s rights, maternity leave, and a whole slew of other issues.

      I would love the ability to show your comment to every woman who works with you, as well as your female relatives – especially your mother.

      Your lack of respect for mothers is disgusting.

    • So Lee Sinclair- you won’t hire anyone with children? That’ll leave you with few to choose from- have fun with PT high school students who request off for dances & football games. Suppose you wouldn’t understand if they needed to get off early to do homework (like law requires). Gotta say, sounds like you’d be a horrible employer. Great companies offer their workers a fulfilled life outside of work. Workers aren’t slaves ya know.

    • Lee Sinclair.

      Not even cool buddy, you are a prime example of what is wrong with the world today. What you think that no one is supposed to or allowed to have kids. In your case, please DO NOT breed and know that the world will be a better place without you or any like you. I played single father for almost 8 years and all my jobs were more then helpful when it came to working around sick kids and such. Lee, you really make yourself look like a Douche bag in this case. I have known people like you and they are still single, never been married and 40 years old… So keep on trucking and making enemies at every turn because you like to spark up a little drama everywhere you go… I really hope you keep using the birth control it will be a shame if you let one slip and end up bringing someone like you in this world.
      BTW I have two and dated a single mother of 5, yes 7 kids total. She is and has always been the hardest working person I know, works fulltime, mother fulltime and does all the house work… What the hell can you say for yourself. “Uhhh, I work 8 hours and come home to nothing.”
      enough said.

  5. I could not agree more! Before I had jay I always wanted to be aknowledged for my good deeds. Now,just let me do my job and don’t complain to me about ANYTHING! I get enough at home lol. You know I thought it would be hard after 4 years at home to enter the working world….nope,not at all. Just different with a lot of humility.

  6. I was a stay at home mom for 4 years and when I went back into the workforce, I always found that REAL supervisors understand that Family comes first. I feel sorry for anyone that my work for this “Lee Sinclair”. Obviously you don’t have any children and don’t have a clue about how much is done by a stay at home mom. When I was a stay at home mom, I taught myself programming and ran a fishing charter business, put baby in the car seat and delivered people to their boats and picked them up 4 hours later. Stay at home moms aren’t stupid, they are probably the smartest, most patient people around. You’re an idiot.
    Great post Summer!

  7. He is totally a troll. Worthless people with no lives, that have nothing better to do than post stupidity on people’s blogs or forums for a reaction. Just for the record, coming from a management position, I had more call in’s from single people than from parents calling in due to their sick kids. Mothers aren’t the only ones who call in sick.

  8. [...] get me wrong, I appreciate that he works so that I can stay home, but the rub is that he makes a salary.  So in essence, he is working 40 hours for free every week [...]

  9. [...] Kyle woke up feeling like schweddy balls and he’s even worse today.  OH man cold.  Just kidding, this time he’s not being half bad.  He even did the dishes while I took [...]

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