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Nov 172011
 

I’ll spare you all the pictures for this post.  I’m sure you all have good enough imaginations that you don’t need to see pictures of poop:  mine, yours, or someone else’s.  ,

So while I might not show you pictures about poop, I am going to talk about it.  If you’re squeamish you might want to just close the browser now or find another post to read.

If you care about your digestive tract, however; it is super important that you read this.

Poop should not be hard, it should not be watery, it should not be clumpy or cracked, it should not be black, it should not be red, it should not hurt when it comes out, it should not make a big splash or “PLOP” when it drops into the bowl, and it shouldn’t smell very strongly.

Poop SHOULD:  Be soft and pliable, be one, long “S” shaped piece, easy to pass, have a mild odor, be brown (any shade is fine), and should make a sound like a diver going into the water when it hits the bowl “WOOSH”!

In the past, I’ve had those cracked, hard, extremely thick poops that require a fan, a match, and a nice spray of Airwick for livable breathing conditions.  They were far from soft and pliable and hit the water like a satellite falling from space, generally landing with a nice SPLASH of dirty toilet water onto my bum.  My poops were few and far between, always painful, sometimes bloody.

I have used probiotics in the past, and they have often helped with my bowels when I take them.  I found some great ones a couple of months ago but I keep falling off the wagon and forgetting to take them.

Since I started Eating Like a Dinosaur, my poop has changed SO much.

About a week into the lifestyle, I went poop, closed my eyes, inhaled, and thought I was at a farm.  It wasn’t super stinky like farms can be, but it smelled mooooreeee…grassy?  Wild?  Something like that.  I thought it was awesome.

Since then, my poo has been softer, I have had no bleeding, no pain while pooping, I can’t hear the poop hit the water, there has been no dirty toilet water splashing up on my derriere, no bleeding from fissures, and not much of an odor.  I’ve also noticed that I’m not gassy at ALL.  I honestly can’t tell you the last time I cut the cheese.  Or farted.  Or produced flatulence.  (Pick one, I like ‘em all).  I know we all fart, every single day, but mine haven’t been explosive or stank enough for anyone to notice, let alone clear out a room.

Kyle has had gastric problems as long as I’ve known him.  He blamed it on vitamins, vegetables, probiotics, fruit, ANYTHING healthy.  Never did he ever think that he had a gluten or grain issue until this past week.

He has been complaining that his farts don’t smell bad.  It’s a mark of your manliness to have really stinky, paper-mill farts, you know?  So now that Kyle has been knocked down a notch on the Totem ManFartPole, he’s a little bummed.

Then he went and did the unthinkable.  He ate a sandwich with BREAD for lunch and RICE NOODLES for dinner!  *GASP*!  You’ll never guess what happened a few hours later.  His bowels were tossing and turning.  They were rockin’ and rollin’.  They were talking to him loud and freaking clear.  What they were saying was, “You douche.  We’ve been doing SO well and then you go off the handle, eat a sandwich AND rice noodles, and now we’re pissed at you.  SO pissed, that we’re going to stink up your entire house and cause you to have explosive diarrhea.”

And they weren’t lyin’.

The highlight of my night was when he admitted that it was the bread and noodles, not the vegetables that I have been feeding him.  He finally admitted that vegetables likely do not make him crap his brains out and he agreed that he didn’t like the way he was feeling all gassy and gross.

So there you have it.  Our own personal Paleo Poop Parable.

You can believe it, ask other Primals, or take it with a grain of wheat.  But for Kyle’s poop not to stink and for Kyle to not be consistently gassy, is a miracle from the very center of Heaven.

It is proof that the things you eat make you sick.  If you have bowel or gastric problems, I urge you to change your diet.  It WILL work.

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  23 Responses to “Paleo & Poop”

  1. That is awesome that is helping your bowel movements. How is going otherwise on the diet??
    melissa recently posted..Belle Baby Carrier Review and Giveaway!!!My Profile

    • It’s going really, really well! I’ve lost 17lbs and a pant size. I feel extremely energetic, no pain, it’s awesome. It’s not a diet for fat people, it’s really a lifestyle switch. My hubby is super thin and he’s loving it too (surprisingly). I hope to eat this way for the rest of my life.
      Summer recently posted..Paleo & PoopMy Profile

  2. Thanks for the plug… I mean, link ;)

    Love this – there are SO many reasons that going grain-free is healthy!

    - Stacy

    • Thanks, Stacy! I feel like a celebrity has given me a virtual hug! I LOOOVE Paleo Parents, you guys are one of my favorite Paleo websites. I can’t wait for “Eat Like a Dinosaur” to arrive on my doorstep!

      • Aww! I know that feeling – glad I could give it. But we’re all just “normal” people doing the best we can. Glad it’s helpful for you! I’m looking forward to stalking you now ;)
        Stacy recently posted..Our Thanksgiving MenuMy Profile

        • And I’m looking forward to being stalked! I watched your breastfeeding stuff today. Loved it! I had never heard of RAM before but it’s SO true and necessary. I breastfed all 3 of my kids too and this 3rd one has been the most difficult to nurse. He wants to do it HIS way, not the RIGHT way.

          In other news: He’s the only person in my family besides me who is 100% Paleo.

  3. Funny you mention poop. I started eating Paleo 5 days ago. I was getting worried yesterday because I hadnt had a bowel movement in 4 days and I suffer from IBS. This morning the urge hit me and I was scared to death. I thought, 4 days… this is NOT going to be good. Boy was I wrong. Biggest, easiest poop I had ever taken in my entire life. There is no way around this not sounding disgusting but it might have broken a world record if there is one for that sort of thing and I almost took a picture but it went straight down the bowl like a scuba diver. I am a firm believer in the caveman ways now. My guts are greatful!

    • Rene I LOVE THIS! I don’t poop every day since I started eating Paleo either but when I go, it’s SO easy and not hard and scary. My guts are grateful too, as are my husband’s. Keep it up! I am loving Paleo! I’ve only been on it for 4 weeks as of tomorrow. *high five*

      • That is good to know! Today is day 6 for me! I started out at 152 and today I am 147. I am hoping to see 145 in a few days because that will be my motivation to stick to it! I havent seen that number since before my second child. No matter what I do, I always linger around 150. My first goal is 140 and I am going to cry when I get there! Congratulations on your weight loss!! Thanks for the motivation! Its not going to be easy sticking to this since I live in Okinawa Japan and I am surrounded by rice and noodles every where I turn! :)

        • You can totally do it! I have lost 17 lbs in 4 weeks. I need to be working out and less sedentary because I know it would melt off then but I’m doing one thing at a time and diet is #1.

          You are a strong, strong woman to do that in Japan. HOLY COW. They probably think you’re PEANUTS for not eating rice.

  4. Summer, I am dying laughing! LOL This is the one question people ask (after “How can you live without bread?”)…How am I able to poop without ‘whole grain fibre’.
    Tara recently posted..Ginger ChickenMy Profile

  5. Hubby and I have had the same conversation several times since we went paleo in September, regarding both poop and flatulence. We’ve also noticed that toilet paper seems to last a whole lot longer!

  6. [...] I have got to talk about my friend Summer’s blog (Banana Hammocks and Tutus). She is 4 weeks into her paleo journey and kicking some serious butt! Her latest post is about poop. Yes, poop… one of those touchy subjects but she managed to make it absolutely hilarious!! Go check it out! Paleo & Poop [...]

  7. Mine have been wonky since my operation but I’m looking forward to seeing how this apparent doodoo-able lifestyle of Paleo affects it. I would love for my toots to not stink.
    You are looking fantastic!!!
    Junebug recently posted..Trash or TreasureMy Profile

    • Wouldn’t it be fantastic to go out in public and let one rip without having to worry about clearing out a room?

      and thank you ;) Can’t wait to see what you make for Thanksgiving!

  8. Thank you so much for this post! I love talking about poop, too… And I have had the same issues as you. It’s wonderful to be seeing results with the paleo way of eating, and amazing how even a small amount of grain can screw things up for me. Thanks again for the post… I’ll be back!

    • That’s awesome! I love people who can talk poop! My hubby isn’t used to not going every day but he IS used to having diarrhea. He’s a little freaked out that he has normal poop now. I’m so proud ;)

  9. [...] is better, our weight is down, The Workaholic’s acne is GONE, his bowels are regulated, my stools are no longer rock hard, our energy is up, and we are both virtually [...]

  10. [...] are other things that are going really well, too. (Don’t click unless you’re not squeamish but it is safe [...]

  11. I’m glad I found this post, however I have the opposite problem and was looking for a solution :( when I eat clean, and include whole grains, my crap is healthy as can be. When I eat paleo however, I crap rabbit poop once a week if I’m lucky. Sorry if that’s TMI but do you have any suggestions?? This happens EVERY TIME I go paleo for any amount of time.

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