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I feel like everyone I know is pregnant, or trying to get pregnant, or coming off of “The Pill” so that they can get pregnant and I’m like WOAH!

I keep getting asked, “Will you and The Workaholic have another baby?”

To which I reply:  ”OH MY GOSH, NO!  And if I manage to get pregnant again, it’s going on the black market.”

(I’m only semi-kidding about that last bit)

Sometimes people look at me like I have 7 heads and others just say, “ooohhh good for you”.

I GET it, though.  I mean seriously?  Check my children out.  I have some freaking HOT children.  Why wouldn’t I want to bless the world with more children like this?  I’m not sure the world could handle another one of our children.  It might explode.

 

Immediately after Grady was born I thought I might like to have another.  He smelled so good and  he was so quiet and calm and absolutely the best sleeper on the face of the planet.  I was a happy and rested mama!  Then he started crawling at 5 months, 4 days old.  And then he started screeching like a Pterodactyl.  And then he quit sleeping.

And I realized that I am totally content with my 3.

Yes, I said THREE.  Many of my stay at home mom friends forget that I have Styles because it is only ever the babies and I at play dates.  I have THREE children.  My eldest will be 11 and in middle school this summer.  Let me go ahead and remind you that I will be 31 this summer and then I’ll go ahead and do the simple math for you:  I’ve been raising babies since I was TWENTY (20) years old.

I spent my 20s as a single parent, working two jobs to make ends meet, and going to school full time to better our lives.  I was poor and often didn’t know how I was going to put food on the table but I somehow always got by financially, physically, and emotionally.  I sacrificed my 20s to have and care for Styles; while I wouldn’t change that for the world, I’m ready to enjoy MY life and a little bit of freedom.

I’m now in my 30s, married to a man with whom I love spending my time, and we have THREE children.

I’ve been doing this Mom thing for 11 years and I’m ready to move on to a new, more selfish phase in my life.  I’m ready to have kids who can stay with grandparents for a week so that The Workaholic and I can travel.  I’d like to go a day without having SNOT on my pants legs.  I’d like to go to the bathroom and wipe myself without trying to grow a third arm to keep the baby from eating the toilet bowl brush.  I’d really love to listen to my favorite band while I’m curling my hair instead of the screams of  my momentarily neglected children.  And I know The Workaholic would love to enjoy a little foreplay without getting a mouthful of milk.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying the season I’m in and I absolutely adore my children but I don’t want to stay in this season forever.   Let’s call this season winter.  I’m SO ready for some spring.  If I keep having babies, spring will never come.

I can still appreciate my friends’ brand new babies, coo in their faces, and sniff their necks.  I can still get SO super excited when a friend gets pregnant and my ovaries don’t even begin to twitch.  I can still get a little nostalgic about how sad I am that my babies aren’t really babies any longer and that I sometimes wish they would stay small and helpless forever.  But nostalgia is up there on the worst reasons to have a baby list.  I am capable of feeling the nostalgia and letting it slide right out of my arms with the baby when it goes back to its mother.

So there you have it.  No more babies for the Banana Hammocks & Tutus family.  We are happy as 5 and are ready to parent the children that we DO have instead of adding to our brood.

 

 

DISCLAIMER:  If you think this was written about or for you, you’re wrong.  It was written about and for me.  Just like every other post on my blog.  Word up.
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  7 Responses to “Why I’m DONE Having Bébés”

  1. I started dating the man I’m with when I was 15. I am a couple weeks shy of 35. People ask when we are finally going to have children and I tell them never. They are shocked and appalled, but as you know, children are work. And they are expensive. It just isn’t something that I wanted to do if I wasn’t going to do it well, and I think I may be too selfish to do it well. So, no kids for us. And we are happy. Like you, I am glad my friends enjoy their babies. I am delighted for them. But it isn’t for us.

    • I totally respect that. I didn’t want kids but got accidentally pregnant with Styles when I was 19. I figured since I already had him I could have a couple more. Kids are definitely expensive and The Workaholic and I could afford to have a good ole’ time and travel the world if we were without them, but they do bring a certain joy and fulfillment to our lives. I have several friends who never want kids and part of me envies their spontaneous lives. If you ever want to be tied down to something, get a dog. :)
      Summer recently posted..Why I’m DONE Having BébésMy Profile

  2. Oh I’m with you on that. My third (all girls) is 6 months old and people have started asking “So you gonna try for a boy?” And I will be the first to admit that I absolutely LOVE having a newborn. Newborns are my thing – they are so easy and sleepy and squishy and snuggly but then they get older… I always say I’d probably have more babies but then that would involve having more TODDLERS which is a pretty hard bargain to drive.

    When it comes down to it, there’s only so much ME and if I kept having babies, not only would I be delaying the springtime as you said, but my other kids would get less of me. I read in an article not too long ago that you need to stop thinking “me” when you become a mother, but I think that is so bizarre.

    I am happiest, and our home is far more peaceful, organized and pleasant when I get time to be me, just be Bethany. Not wipe butts, not make dinners, not break up fights, just do something that makes me feel like me again. And while babies themselves are pretty easy in that regard, eventually they grow into a three-year-old and THAT, my friend, is the most difficult part for me personally.

    So, I savor every day Firefly is little, try not to think about when she’s 3, and I know she’s my last.

    Oh – you might like this. I had her via c-section, so when they were in there I had the doctor tie my tubes. As she was working, the anesthetist remarked that we were “turning a factory into a playground.” I liked that!
    Bethany – Homesteader Kitchen recently posted..Organizing my Spice Rack with Adams Peanut Butter JarsMy Profile

    • The comment from the anesthetist is HILARIOUS!!!! I totally agree with you that I am more peaceful and pleasant when I get time to be “me” too. Unfortunately that didn’t start happening for me until about 6 weeks ago when I finally joined the gym again. I’ve been an athlete for my entire life (literally…I started gymnastics when I was 3) and having had that part of my life removed from me for the past 4 years was brutal. I didn’t realize how much I needed it until I started doing it again. I am so much more joyful when I am working out 5 days/week. Plus I know I’m working towards a healthier me which makes me even more happy. It’s just a wonderful chain of events.

      I’m learning to savor each of my children more and to smile at them when they make me happy. It’s not easy to know you’re done but on the other hand, it totally is.
      Summer recently posted..The Conjugal Visit. Cancelled. My Profile

  3. Actually, there are a lot of people who wanted to have kids yet they can’t have because of some problems.. And when I get to have kids someday, I will really love them a lot..
    Nelie recently posted..GoPro HD HERO CameraMy Profile

  4. In the end, what matters most is the entire family. If you are happy with three kids and they are also well taken cared for, why should add another child that will likely change the equation?
    Anita recently posted..infant costumes for cheapMy Profile

  5. [...] Why I’m DONE Having Bébés(bananahammocksandtutus.com) [...]

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